Since I was horribly negligent last week (recovering from the HSCM debacle, after all*) and forgot to post a Manic Monday, I’m giving you two this week. Both quality, too. None of that whole “one good, one just for show” kind of business here — I’m delivering you The Goods.

Both, coincidentally, feature Hollywood Crushes of mine — and both are unique in their own special sorts of ways.

First, the original plan for the Manic Monday. Some of you might have heard about Jake Gyllenhaal’s appearance on SNL over the weekend — the clips I saw on Sunday were really quite good. But there was a certain standout quality to The Gyllenhaal’s opening monologue. Something bold and brave and…beautiful, really.

When a man embraces “Dreamgirls” in such a manner, he is due notice and appreciation. Thus, I give you the link to the monologue…every painful, fantastic note of it. So wrong. So right. Sigh. (Insert cursing over missing The Gyllenhaal at ACL right about…here.)

And secondly, my other crush, and this is a long-standing one. I often wonder why the Orlando Bloom thing has lasted this long. I mean, I saw “Pirates 2” — twice within 24 hours (my choice the first time, not at all the second). But who am I to question such a persistent thing? I must go with it, grimacing on occasion over a less-than-shall-we-say-at-all-natural-appearing performance (or seven) and savor the good moments.

And I finally found one of those moments! “Extras,” which made its second season debut over the weekend (and made me instantly regret not subscribing to HBO), featured Orlando at the top of the episode (along with the brilliant Ashley Jensen from “Ugly Betty”), and it was a vivid, nuanced performance. Of a preening, self-obsessed “objectively really good-looking” Orlando Bloom. I was as close to howling as I’ve been all this television season.

Huzzah, Orlando! Restoring my faith in ye! Let’s go snog now, mmm?

No, no. Shhhh. Don’t say another word. Don’t ruin it again…

*I swear, it’s almost the last time I’ll say anything about that.