Our weekends haven’t lined up. When I was home, she was away; when she is here, I’ve been gone.

There are big changes approaching — a home, a move. Both exciting, both only appropriately terrifying at times, both very different than the norm to which we’ve grown accustomed. In both cases, things that seemed far enough away are racing toward each of us, only picking up speed as they approach.

Neither of us have mentioned this as much as we might feel inclined, I believe, partly because each is happy for the other, but also because of what it all is. Change. Things aren’t going to be the same. While the friendship is going to be just as strong, it’s going to be different.

It’s hard to think about the best friend on the other couch being far away, in a home of her own, moving forward to visits, phone calls and relayed anecdotes.

But there was tonight: a concert at the old, familiar venue featuring a band that popped up in many an anecdote. Even an unexpected cameo from a different staple musician. Lattes and lounging around the living room far too late at night, given the morning wakeup, boxes and impending drive.

We’d touch upon it periodically.

“I’m going to miss hearing, ‘Hey, can I read this to you?'”
“Just you wait ’til I come up to visit.”
“Well God knows we talked all the time back then, too.”
“I’m going to call you that Monday and want to go out for coffee.”
“That’s going to be a big day for everyone.”

After the show, when the cofffees had been consumed and before she moved to her room to go to sleep, I rose from the couch and gave her a hug.

“I haven’t really said this, because part of me doesn’t want to think about it, but I’m really, really going to miss you.”

We were both crying. She laughed. “I realized this was our last Friday night.”

A moment. Then we both laughed.

“Go to bed.”

“Get some sleep.”

Of course a girl is going to be happy for her best friend. But what makes that bond so special is that feeling happy for someone’s impending change doesn’t mean that there isn’t a tiny piece of you that really just wishes that things could stay the same.