8:17 p.m. – We have beer. We have a big-screen television. We have a grocery store within an inning’s dash for sustenance (or more beer). We have Curt warming up, Jacoby stretching, and a running tally of men’s E.D. medication advertisements (“Dude Pill Ad Count, Prostrate Protectors, Sexy Time Drugs, Etc). Let’s get a Game Six on, people.

8:24 p.m. – Paul “Double-Pump” Byrd is on the screen. No, we’re not referring to the Sexy Time Drugs quite yet.

8:25 p.m. – DAMMIT TROT!

8:25 p.m. – “Curt, right now I’m an Evangelical Christian, too.” – Nicole

8:26 p.m. – One strike down, a lot to go.

8:29 p.m. – One out, an easy grounder to Lugo. FOX is now giving us the obvious “Keys of the Game” that they’ll touch back upon later in the game to prove how clever they are, how much they know about the game. Newsflash: it’s about pitching.

8:30 p.m. – Two out. Hi Lil’ Dusty P! We promise to reduce our live-blog so that it doesn’t chronicle every single out of the game. We’ll be busy snarking on FOX as they discuss the changes in Curt since 2004. Again, we welcome Captain Obvious and the Over-Stating Baron to Fenway Park.

8:31 p.m. – But we’re not letting Curt’s first strikeout of the game go by unnoticed! Woot! Bring out the bats!

8:32 p.m. – “Why don’t I have digital service in my living room?” – Nicole. Obviously a commercial break. We’d like to note that the opening to the coverage tonight, the U2 montage of Fenway footage from yesteryears, struck just the right balance of schmaltz and sentimentality. We love our park, we love our team, we love our Bono.

8:37 p.m. – First hit of the night for Dustin and we’re chastising people too wussy to come into the city for the game. “_____. Where sass presides.” Address omitted to protect the sassy.

8:39 p.m. – Nice play, except for the part where Cabrera didn’t catch it and we wound up safe on first and second. Say it with us now: YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUKKKKKKK!

8:43 p.m. – Manny, I’ve given you a hard time over the course of the season(s). But I’ve been changing my mind about you. I’m warming up to you. All I ask is that you don’t screw things up with bases loaded…

8:47 p.m. – Amazing that FOX hasn’t yet grasped that fact that Manny has a good eye because he is a smart batter. A lousy sport when it comes to running out ground ball hits, kind of a showboater with the home run gaze, but a good hitter…Who just struck out. What were we saying? Never trusted that Manny guy.

8:52 p.m. – JD DREW JUST HIT A GRAND SLAM?!?!??!?!?!?!? HOW? I’m supposed to hate that guy! “Drew might have just earned all of his salary in that one swing.” – Nicole. She beat the FOX guy to it, BY THE WAY.

8:53 p.m. – Francona’s pissed that the guy’s been holding out this long.

8:55 p.m. – The Eric Gagne Memorial Award now goes to Fausto Carmona, of Cleveland…

8:57 p.m. – Inning’s over. FOX just uttered the words “But not before JD Drew.” Nicole is saying, “Trade me now, bitches!” I’m making sure my running shoes are on in case things go well (why yes, I did just knock on wood) and I find myself making a scamper over to the park for the end of the game.

9:02 p.m. – Just one run. That said, that was a beaut of a shot. That’s what yelling at the umpire does. Gets you all riled up and crazy-like.

9:09 p.m. – It is neither fate nor destiny, Dane Cook. Now comb your hair like a good Boston boy and quit talkin’ ’bout the Rockies.

9:11 p.m. – “Hi, honey!” – Nicole to Pedroia

9:12 p.m. – A driver outside our apartment receives news of J.D. Drew’s grand slam. Horn-honking commences. Nicole receives text message from Yahoo alerting her to the fact that the game has started.

9:13 p.m. – During boring FOX commentary, Victoria figures out how to make an asterisk with her fingers to annotate love of Coco Crisp (*sometimes) and Lil’ Dusty P makes Indians go bouncing off the Monster. Hello, double.

9:16 p.m. – “Hate the shift. Shiv the shift.” – Nicole

9:18 p.m. – Pizza Hut commercial begins to elicit same responses as the work of Drew and Dutsy. Cheesy bread sticks may be in the near future. Victoria tries to blame carb cravings on post-season ball. This is false.

9:23 p.m. – Victoria returns. Nicole is correct. Oh, and the Indians have two on base.

9:34 p.m. – “This is not the first time you’ve sat behind home plate, if you’re here in the postseason. Have you not learned how not to be a douchebag? … Cherry Wheat or Sam Light?” – Nicole. We go with the Light. Room for cheesy sticks?

9:26 p.m. “Is this empty?” – Nicole, gesturing to Victoria’s bottle of beer. “Almost, hold on.” – Victoria, before drinking quarter of bottle in four pulls. “You and Drew, both showing up tonight.” – Nicole

9:30 p.m. – Was going to hold off on apology for future typos, but realized that previous timestamp was 10 minutes too fast. Corrected and apology now made.

9:32 p.m. – Dane, we talked about this.

9:37 p.m. – Conference at the mound. “Carmona, you’re sucking out.” “Coach, I know.” “Fausto, look out. That JD is a monster. He’ll own you.” “Coach, you’re talking about JD Drew, right? That must’ve been a fluke.”

9:43 p.m. – Technical difficulties remedied. Carmona is pulled, there are jokes about Drew being the greatest player to ever wear a Red Sox uniform and Wedge is doing everything he can to resist curling up in the fetal position. Thank you, Tek, for moving along Mikey Lowell. Perez is pitching, we should note.

9:46 p.m. – JD Drew vows to noogie Jacoby for recording his first post-season hit and the first Sox non-Drew-RBI run of the night. We also take this moment to say hi to Fire Danny Ainge!

9:48 p.m. – “I like this game.” – Nicole. Lugo gets a beauty of a hit and Jacoby fires it from first to home. 8-1 us.

9:52 p.m. – Um, we’d like to point out that it is the bottom of the THIRD INNING and the game started more than an hour and a half ago. I am now turning to my beer and handing the keyboard to Nicole…

9:58 p.m. – …who handed it right back when things went bonkers. OK, so here we go: Youk hits the ball. He then either headbutts it or gets it thrown at his head, depending on how you want to look at it. Dustin scores, score bumps up to 10-1, Ortiz hits to first and then Garko (remember him? Trashtalker?) throws the ball into the dirt so that an exhausted Youk can get to second. Laffey is now pitching, by the way, and Curt Schilling has got to be thanking God for getting a bit of a break. Whew.

10:01 p.m. – Oh, and it’s still the third inning. And we’ve only seen one Sexy Time Drug commercial. “This demographic has a disappointing amount of erectile function.” – Nicole

10:04 p.m. – Is it bad that you see a duck commercial and instantly think Aflak?

10:06 p.m. – My brother texted me, asking about the score. I laughed. Hilariously. – Victoria

10:08 p.m. – Hello to Rhodes, who aptly pointed out in the comments that it is now the 4th inning. If Rhodes were here at ______, he’d be able to be preparing to embark on a trip to the park with the Sisters of Sass. Just sayin.

10:10 p.m. – Josh Beckett just elicited a choir of angels from Nicole’s mouth, given the news ala FOX that he’s prepared to come in for relief Sunday night (and the fact that his facial hair is much improved this evening). Victoria concurs that both revelations are wonderful things. Dice-K had better be ready to bring it.

10:11 p.m. – SEXY TIME DRUG COMMERCIAL! Nope, that was premature of us. Prostate protector…hmm…close, but not quite. Much like the Manny homer last game.

10:15 p.m. – It’s still so strange to see JD Drew swing the bat, let alone hit it, let alone…yeah.

10:18 p.m. – Sizemore, we tip our imaginary caps to you for that Coco Crisp* play. Can’t be angry with that at all.

10:20 p.m. – We’re planning to head down to Fenway relatively soon – middle of six, with the hopes of being able to sing “Sweet Caroline” outside the park. So if this LB ends suddenly, we provide that as explanation and will have full round-up of that tomorrow. In the meantime, Trot Nixon is up at bat and we think he looked better in a Sox uniform. That said, we’re digging his replacement at the moment.

10:24 p.m. “You should marry Josh so you can get season tickets.” – Nicole.

10:25 p.m. – “Did Manny just grapevine?” – Victoria AND Nicole. IN UNISON.

10:26 p.m. – The natives are growing restless. There are honks being heard. There are fans being shown outside the park. There is a sense of Game Sevenitis going on…

10:30 p.m. – Nicole has just graced my beer bottle with a Corona Light striped poncho. We’ll refrain from adding detail to protect the easily Googled.

10:37 p.m. – Off to the park, kids. If the Sox win, we’ll be back tomorrow. Same time, same place. Go Boston!

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