Coming soon will be exploits of style and sass. Seriously! Strapless dresses, cardigans, heels and singalongs – on the high seas and high above large crowds! Summer in the city action, people!

In the meantime, however, know that I fell up the basement stairs this morning, dropping the laundry I’d been carrying, skinning my knee, bumping my wrist and swearing. Loudly. Completely void of style or sophistication.

Victoria Welch: keeping it clumsy since 1980.